oK. this ones gonna be pretty long... soo be ready for it.
i dont know why i feel the way i feel at this point. my high school love lasted for 4 years and two additional years off and on... (he never wanted to make it official, since he wanted to see what else is out there) eventually i got sick of it. i knew how i felt about him... but i couldnt be in something that damaged me soooo much emotionally... with all the confusion. towards the end of the two years i met someone.
This other guy was very different from my high school love and basically SWEPT me off my feet. (how my mom says "principe azul") I ended up braking off whatever it was that me and my high school love were doing, it didnt bother him (in the begining) eventually though, once he realized that it was a for sure thing he started to act as though i did mean much more than i thought to him. But on my part, it was too late.
I had "fallen" for this other guy but at the same time i know that my high school love was always going to be something special regardless of how much he hurt me. Sooo we would see each other at get togethers and friend events (since we had the same friends) and we would take and be cool with each other... but one thing i noticed is that i know i would always take about my new boyfriend. Slowly we lost contact. Its been about 3 and a half years since all this happened. About six month ago i broke up with that new boyfriend... and i kinda miss my high school love..
all my friends say that even if i wanted it to work out it wouldnt cuz we are two completely different people now.
but thats not it.
i saw him recently at a friends party (since i started coming around again) and everything was cool... he ended up dropping me off at home and after have a short conversation before heading to my front door... he suggested we have lunch.
i called him about 1 week after that to have lunch... he didnt pick up sooo i left a simple message... he never called me back.
a few days later i text him.... saying hey whats up... he never responds...
finally i textd him kinda saying if i had done something wrong or if im over reacting to let me know.... he never responded....
that ended up making me over analyze things even more... which meant that when i had a druken night... i would text him saying why doesnt he want to talk to me.... (wish i hadnt)
and he text me back saying something like "im busy. sorry"
to me this has turned out to be much bigger than it was... just because i never thought i would ever be just any other girl... that he can soooo easily ignore.
im a grown women now... that can take a simple " i dont think its a good idea for us to talk" or something to make it clear.. i wouldve listened. and i know he doesnt have a girlfriend... but if he did i wouldve completely respected that and left him alone.
i feel soooooooooooooo hurt!!!! and i dont know why i feel this way... i know i shouldnt care because he is my X. but it just made things intense when he didnt respond to the first message.
im sure its one of those "you want what you cant have" but it has taken over my mind on how messed up i think that is. its been about a month since i last contacted him.
now, i would be embarrased to see him at partys cuz im the "stupid" one that was looking for it. i hate it. what do i do? why do i feel this way? what will help me?
knock some sense into me!!!
Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Datingish... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!" :-)
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